Bra Shopping...

So my bras were as old as, well, almost as old as me, and I only had two comfortable ones. Time to go shopping. I put this kind of shopping off as long as possible for three basic reasons: 1. they are expensive 2. No one (well almost) sees them. 3. It involves a lot of patience and time--and I am short on both these days. I wait until my bras are basically falling apart and no longer fulfilling their desired purpose before giving them the heave-ho. Shoes are much cuter and much more enjoyable to purchase.

I drop off the two older boys at summer classes and head to Kohl's. They are having a sale tomorrow, but I would rather avoid the crowds, and have the dressing room to myself. Andrew is in the shopping cart, playing with the remnants of my iced decaf coffee which is basically sticky ice and a straw. It keeps him occupied, so I encourage it. I don't even mind as he spills it down his shirt, hoping that it will provide me a few more minutes of trying on clothing. However, as I am standing there half dressed, I start to wonder how clothed I would need to be to chase Andrew through Kohl's, if the necessity arose. How many male employees were there really? Is holding a shirt up to my chest enough? How far could he run in the time it would take me to put my shirt back on? I love those dressing rooms with walls and doors all the way to the ground--alas, this was not the case today.

Rows and rows of lace, bows, and padding...which ones will do the trick? It is no wonder women are wearing the wrong sized bras (according to Oprah). Is there really any standard? I tried on bras that are supposed to be my size and they were too small. I tried on the next size up, they were too big. The "lacy" bras look sexy and cute, but you can see the lace through my tank top--not so cute. The "minimizing" bras minimize by spreading your chest down your tummy or over towards your armpits. They might as well be called the smushing, flattening, man-like bras. Then there are the "stand-alone" bras which require none of your own filling. They pretty much stand up on their own, but might become concave if someone gives you a big hug. Then there are the "cone-shaped" bras..who wears these things? They pretty much distort your boob into a three dimensional triangle. Then there are the "soft, comfy" bras, the ones you want to buy until you put your shirt on and realize that the reason they are so comfy is that they are providing zero support... Ugh!

While picking up spilled ice, quieting screams of "too tight, too tight" (prior to his Houdini-like escape from the stroller) and "WET" as he points to his coffee stained T-shirt, I manically hurry through about 50 bras. About every third bra I retrieved the freed toddler from the empty stalls next to me. In the end, I walked away with six. One "stand-alone" bra, three slightly "lacy" bras, and two "soft, comfy" ones. (Andrew walked away with a stuffed dog, another attempt at distracting and pre-occupying. ) Here's hoping they last a long time!