My Anniversary

It's my 15th Anniversary! Can't believe it. I am struck by how blessed that I have been, and I am almost paranoid and afraid to announce it because life is so unpredictable. I can't help but think about my family and friends who have not been so fortunate, and it breaks my heart. Some who have never found anyone to share their lives with, others who thought they had found their love, and have been desperately disappointed, some who have lost their spouses to a devastating illness, or tragic accident. Some have lived through MORE THAN THEIR SHARE of all of this. It is so hard to understand.

I also think about how hard it is to truly help other people. We cannot help cure a disease which will devastate a life (and the lives of their family), we cannot force another person to get help for their overwhelming depression, we cannot make our alcoholic friend become sober, we cannot find the soulmate for our friend who is desperate to be married, we cannot give our friends a job (most of the time)! We cannot remove pain from another's heart, no matter how much we desire to. I wish I were better at reaching out and coming beside people in their pain. It is hard for me to know how to comfort, to know how to help, or to have the patience to talk and spend time with the socially difficult. I feel so helpless in my desire to help my friends and family lead happier lives, and it saddens my heart, because I desperately want it for them! Prayers, phone calls, emails, cards, and gifts...that is the extent of my help, and I don't even do enough of that.